Tomorrow, March 11th is my surgery date to remove a lymph node to find out if I do indeed have cancer. This entire journey to this point has been humbling, and amazing. The fear of cancer, or the fear of the unknown is frightening. The worst part has been the waiting game. I sent out a simple note on Facebook to let my friends and distant family know what's up a little over 2 weeks ago. The awesome thing for me has been the overwhelming support and love sent my way. I wanted to share an email I received from a close friend. Matt Robertson and I worked together at Shimano, on day one I knew he and I would become good friends... Below is a email he sent me on Feb 22nd entitled "I talked to the man for you" This email was sent after my inconclusive results came back from my biopsy.
Daniel,
Saturday I went on a little pilgrimage. Thought about you a lot. I wanted to ride down to the temple in SD – even though I can’t go in. but I could not arrange the train ride and general plan in advance. The second option – plan B, was to ride the same distance around OC. So I laid out an 80 mile ride, but almost didn’t make it 5. I was on the bike path headed up the drainage from the back bay when I hit a dog doing 20miles an hour (me not the dog). It was some kind of boxer, pug-like thing, a total brick. Somehow it can move 200mph and literally jumped 5 feet directly to the left to make the interception. I may have hit the brakes, I don’t know, but I stopped dead and flew over the bars, smashing into the ground – hands, elbow, knee, hip, back all taking some damage. Ouch. I was pretty worried that something was busted but everything seemed to be OK.
That was when the dog started talking. He said, “Hey guy, don’t even think about heading back home! You have 75 miles to go and I am not taking excuses today” Actually, he didn’t talk. But the point was made. Sometimes the old adage - ‘get back up and try again’ seems to make light of reality. Sometimes you are not sure if you can get up. but this time I could. It was my longest ride of the year (5 hours) and the longest ride I have ever done in OC, it was also the hardest I have ever stacked on a road bike.
My interpretation of the situation is that I was given a lesson in adversity and perseverance that I was meant to pass on to you. Whatever the first impact of your situation, don’t let it break you, find the strength in your family and friends who love you and look forward to ‘riding out those aches’ with all of us.
Anything at all, just ask!
Matt
This note hit a chord, and of course brought tears to my eyes. I forwarded the note to Jenny, and she was inspired to write the following back, which pretty much summed up my thoughts.
Hey Matt,
Daniel was really touched by your email and sent it to me. I just had to let you know how much it effected me after I read it. It was kind of like a light bulb went off. Ever since we found out something was wrong I've tried to keep myself in good spirits but I'm a worrier (from a long line of worriers) and the waiting of course does not help. Anyway, after your email I just had such a strong and intense feeling of comfort. I just felt like saying, "You know what? We got this!". I almost think we've been training for this. This last year we really overhauled our lives and Daniel's in the best shape he's been in years (aside from possible cancer, lol).
I know your family has had to weather a few storms of your own so thank you for helping me to see that we'll be able to ride out these bumps. Of course I don't want to see Daniel sick but I know that we can fight this and will probably come out the better for it. Daniel has a great friend in you.
Jenny
I really feel ready for what lies in front of me. Not knowing sucks, but my body says it's ready, and my spirit says fight! My brother Jeff while in the ICU in Portland, wrote this note a few days before he passed - "life is absurd, but worth it". It is SO WORTH IT! All the little things that jump in our way, and slow us down, so worth it. Whatever adversity is in front of me, I will face boldly, and ready. I have hundreds of friends waiting to help me pick up my weapons, and push forward. I'm humbled by everyone's comments, especially by those who've picked up the phone and called me. I love you all! I'm honored to be your friend. And I know I can beat this! With all of your prayers, love and good vibes, we will get through this. I thank the Lord everyday for people like you in my life! Thank you!
I just hope, if I do have cancer and loose my hair, that I don't loose my eyebrow hair, cause those two guys really hold the face together.